jacolily’s Neighborhood

Finished The Sweet By and By by Sara Evans with Rachel Hauck for Thomas Nelson.

Jade is about to get married but there's a sticking point--she has to decide whether to invite her mother to the wedding.  She's been estranged from her mother (Beryl) for years, and she isn't sure whether it's worth the drama to have her there.  Beryl used to be a hippie and spent much of her three kids' childhoods on the road with one musician boyfriend (or husband) or another. 

You should know that this is Christian fiction, although that wasn't too noticeable until the end. So if that would bug you, this probably isn't a book you'd enjoy.  (Although you'd probably like it until the end.)

I liked the pacing of the book a great deal.  The details of Jade and Beryl's relationship was revealed in a timely fashion and there was a decent twist that kept changing everything.

I read the book yesterday, after I was exhausted from being at work for 30 hours.  Would I have liked it this much if it weren't essentially the literary equivalent of comfort food?  I'm not sure.  But I read this book at the perfect time, and I really enjoyed it.

It's probably also good that I read it right before Christmas, since the book's main themes are about love and forgiveness.

The Sweet By and By

Sara Evans

I say, "Bundle up, we're going for a walk in the cold,"

And without missing a single beat you say, "BUNDLING!"

And of course -- of course! -- you have to check the temperature of the water.

Because that's the kind of girl you've always been.

"You can see how excited he is!" you said, without a trace of sarcasm.

Jacques had other ideas however...

Is this what it feels like to have nothing to do and nowhere to be?

Yes, and I love it. I did not even stir until 10 am, and didn't do anything remotely resembling productive for a good hour beyond that.

Todd and Jesse went to see Avatar. I took Libby to a kids' yoga class. I also consumed approximately two pounds of sugar by the early evening. Oh, I went running for the first time since October. It snowed.

A perfectly satisfactory day.

Yesterday, I spoke to our church's Friday MOPS group.  Their theme this year centers around the book, Make Today Count by Maxwell.  I was asked to choose one of the chapters, which consist of values that one should incorporate into daily life.  Since it was their final meeting before Christmas, I chose Generosity.

Here are some thoughts from the talk:

Most know that today's Santa Claus originates with St. Nicholas, who lived during the third century in what is now Turkey.  After his parents death, he devoted his life to the Church and gave away his entire fortune to those in need.  "St. Nick" lived his life in such a way that he became known as a gift-giver.

But, I am not sure Nicholas was just - POOF - a giver. 

Do we have to teach children to share?  If you've ever been a room with a couple of 2-year-olds, you know the answer to that!

I once watched a recording of Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz), and he talked about how we all believe this life is our own movie.  "I am the star!  The rest of you are just supporting players."

The reality is, we have to be purposeful in our giving – it doesn't come naturally to most of us.

So, what does it mean to be generous?

First, it's not just about money.  Give of yourself: your time, your attention, your talent...to name a few not-for-sale gifts.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” (NIV)

But sometimes we are called to share our money/wealth.

Jesus said, “Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.” (Matthew 5:42)

A caveat: don't lend money.  But Nicole, you just quoted a verse that says don't turn away someone asking to borrow.

I know of a family that if they agree to give someone money, they never look at it as a loan.  They make a conscious decision to never expect to get it back.  If they can't give it away, they don't give it.

Anyone every loaned a friend or family member a bit of cash and you're still waiting for that payback?  Makes holiday get-togethers a bit awkward, eh?  If they even come around you any more.

Just give it - expecting nothing in return.

Okay - I get it.  I need to be generous.  But how?

1) Value Others

Treat everyone with respect.  Yes, even that annoying woman in the grocery store line!

A week or two ago I was at our local Kroger.  The lines were four and five people deep.  A manager opened the register next to my line and directed me over.  As I loaded my purchases on to the belt, a woman checking out to the right of us loudly vied for the mangers attention:

"EXCUSE ME!  I need to tell you that if you don't get some baggers in this store, I am never shopping here again!  The cashiers don't know how to bag my groceries, and I am tired of doing it myself.  Are you listening!?  Are you going to get some baggers over here..."

On and on went the diatribe, as the manager, softly and graciously, called over some department managers to bag the woman's purchases as her sheepish husband looked at the floor.

My first thought was, "Wow, I didn't know it was my constitutional right to demand a bagger at the grocery store."  I had a few other thoughts that weren't as "nice".

But as I left the store, a still small voice whispered, "What if that woman just lost someone close to her?  What if she just got word that someone she loves is facing a terminal illness?"

Bottom line: we have no idea what someone might be going through that would cause them to spring a leak - a rather loud one at that! - in a grocery store while dozens of bystanders gawk.  Sure, some people are just rude, but God loves even them, doesn't He? 

God calls me to a lot of things, but one of them is certainly not judging (and thank goodness too).

2) Know what people value

This will mean giving of your time – getting to know them.  If you are like me, the last thing you have is time!  But the dividends of taking time to get to know those you say you love: unmeasurable.

3) Make yourself more valuable

Work on you!  What are you doing to cultivate character and personal growth in your own life?  A few ways to do that include time with God (prayer, Bible reading), being a part of a church, developing relationships there via small groups or discipleship classes, and finding that friend who knows and loves you enough to tell you when you are crazy.  (Seriously.  If you don't have one of those, you need one.  Pronto.)

4) Love people unconditionally

It doesn't get more specific than this: “The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.” (1 John 4:21, MSG)

5) Find a reason to give every day – and then DO IT!

It could be as simple as letting that guy with just a gallon of milk jump in front of you in line at the wholesale club.  It doesn't have to cost a lot of money or involve a lot of fanfare - it's simply looking for those small moments when you can be an encouragement to someone else.

6) Don't wait for “better times” to be generous

Let's be real.  If you are saying, "I'll give more when the economy rebounds or I get a raise at work or my retirement fund is at a respectable level again," you're really just kidding yourself.  There will always be something - braces for the kids, a blown tire, leaky faucets.  As the old Nike ads said, "Just do it."

As I finished up this little talk, I handed out tea bags with a small note attached: Generosi-tea.  I asked those moms to do something generous - big or small - before they enjoyed that herbal brew.  I hope each one will look at that small gift and be encouraged to embrace a new mantra: I will live to give.

That's exactly what God's Son did for each one of us.  He chose life here on earth, and then He gave it away that we ALL might live.

Of all the gifts you give this Christmas, may Generosi-tea be at the top of the list.

(*I can't take complete credit for the big ideas represented here - Maxwell's chapter on Generosity was vital as a jumping off place.)

I'm kind of bummed, I left 80 some degree weather for this....

Dec 2009 snow

This picture was stolen from my sister's FB page because I left my camera in Florida (I should have left myself in Florida.)

I will enjoy my family at Christmas but certainly not this weather!  Hey, Mom you were wise to stay in the south!

If there is anything my mother isn't known for, it's being graceful on her feet. My mother trips and bumbles over the smallest things, sometimes over nothing at all. 

Here is the church...

.

here is the steeple...

.

open the doors...

.

and here are the people

.

Close the doors...

.

hear them pray...

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Open the doors

.

they've all gone away.

.

Finished The Angel's Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon.  This is a prequel to my favorite book ever, The Shadow of the Wind.

This is very different from Shadow of the Wind but it's still great.

Here's the synopsis from the back of the book--I don't want to spoil anything, because this is really good.

"In an abandoned mansion at the heart of Barcelona, a young man, David Martin, makes his living by writing sensationalist novels under a pseudonym.  The survivor of a troubled childhood, he spends his nights spinning baroque tales about the city's underworld.  But perhaps his dark imaginings are not as strange as they seem, for in a locked room deep within the house lie photographs and letters hinting at an unsolved mystery.

Like a slow poison, the history of the place and an impossible love bring David close to despair.  But then he receives a letter from a reclusive French editor, Andreas Corelli, who makes him the offer of a lifetime.  He is to write a book unlike any other - a book with the power to change hearts and minds.  In return, he will receive a fortune, perhaps more.  But as David begins the work, he realzies that there is a connection between this haunting book and the shadows that surround his home.

Set in the turbulent 1920s, The Angel's Game takes us back to the gothic universe of the Cemetery of Forgotten Books and the Sempere & Sons bookshop, in a masterful tale about the magic of books and the darkest corners of the human soul."

The Angel's Game

Carlos Ruiz Zafón

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3)

J.K. Rowling

Read because: I'm listening to all the HP books on CD

Borrowed from: the Sacramento Library

Rating: 8 out of 10

Synopsis: Harry is back and in fine form in the third installment of his adventures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His summer with the hideous Dursley family is cut short when, during a fit of quite understandable rage, he turns his Aunt Marge into an enormous balloon and then runs away. Soon, it becomes quite apparent that someone is trying to kill him; even after Harry is ensconed in the safety of fall term at Hogwarts, the attacks continue. Myriad subplots involving a new teacher with a secret, Hermione's strangely heavy class schedule, and enmity between Ron's old rat, Scabbers, and Hermione's new cat, Crookshanks, all mesh to create a stunning climax. The pace is nonstop, with thrilling games of Quidditch, terrifying Omens of Death, some skillful time travel, and lots of slimy Slytherins sneaking about causing trouble.

My review: I really like book 3 of the series. Things get really dark, with omens of death for Harry, a mass murderer on the loose, and some really close calls for the three wizards. I also love the introduction of Sirius Black (played by Gary Oldman in my head), who is one of my favorite characters in the entire series. He's extra crazy in this book, and it's really fun to watch Rowling develop his character, not to mention the characters of other adults in the book -- Snape, James Potter, Pettigrew, and Lupin. I also really like Lupin in this book, and how he gives support to Harry when most others write him off. And once again, Jim Dale is the best audio book reader out there. (Finished 11/23/09) 

Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality

Rob Bell

Recommended by: a bunch of people. Plus I'd read other books by Bell.

Purchased from: A Borders going-out-of-business sale, at 80% off. Woot.

Rating: 9 out of 10

Synopsis: "Is sex a picture of heaven?" Bell wonders. It's all about God and sex and heaven, he says: "...they're connected. And they can't be separated. Where the one is you will always find the other." It's the story of God becoming human, of humans mirroring God and love made manifest in the chaos of our humanity. Sex God is about relationships revealed in a way that elevates the human condition and offers hope to those whose relationships are wounded. In Bell's spare, somewhat oblique style, he addresses lust, respect, denial, risk, acceptance and more. He does a fine job using the Bible and real life to show that our physical relationships are really about spiritual relationships. This book joyfully ties, and then tightens, the knot between God and humankind.

My Review: I feel like I should have read this a long time ago. I've had it for a while and I read it in less than twenty-four hours. It was a wonderful picture of what God has set out marriage and sex to be. Bell really delves into how the spiritual and the physical come together and how our relationships here are a picture of God's relationship with us. It's fascinating, really. Bell's style takes a little getting used to -- it's sparse and really uses the white space on a page. This book, though, was probably the least-difficult to handle visually (compared to his other books). I wish I had it with me so I could quote from it a bit. Anyway, I highly recommend this book, especially to high schoolers and people who work with them. I could have used some of this information back in my youth-leading days.